Reflections of Decisions Past

I preface this entire blog with the caveat, "I love my children as much as my heart will hold. The decisions we made to have them have never been considered anything but right".

• 
  
  In two days (Sunday), Tony and I will have been married 22 years. We lived together for a year before this (I think simply because we were both petrified of jumping all in). But before I get to that....

• 
  
  We laugh around here and say that my dad must have walked into a bar and picked the girl with the widest hips and said, "Yo, let's procreate". He married her on 3.9.68 and the following year on 3.9.69, I was born. (Subsequently, their divorce was final 3.9.70) Which might account for my feelings of the urge to be a whole number, rather than a prime. He remarried.




• 
  
  Tony's parents were married many, many years and divorced (I think 32 maybe). A speaker while Paige was in high school spoke to the students and indicated to Paige that since both sets of her grandparents had been divorced, the likelihood of either her or her parents getting divorced increased to 80%. I like to think this is the sour taste that has been left in her mouth regarding marriage.




• 
  
  Nevertheless, reflecting back over the years, there hasn't been a single day of my life that I have not looked back and wondered if marriage was the "right" choice for either Tony or myself. I said to him recently that I guessed that being his wife hadn't been an entire loss of life for me; he'd been a good provider, never really beat me and had known his role over the years. (Kid pukes, I get the bath water and the washer loaded, while he stripped the kid and dunked) His response to this was, "Really?". I sensed some sarcasm; although, with him, you can never tell.




• 
  
  It's amazing how quickly time flies by....seems like just yesterday I was standing in a courthouse judge's office reciting what they called vows. I do recall they never asked for identification from me, but it was very important that he have it...The grand wedding we had spent months paying for and ordering dated things for were never used. We eloped a month early.

• 
  
  I don't regret, per se, being married. But as someone over 40 looking back over the choices in her life, I'm not sure at 21 again that I would make the same choices.....but, then again, I might.

• 
  
  Happy Coming-Of-Spring, my friends. If you get a chance, get out and take a walk. Sahara Haulage and Cain Road are beautiful right now. Take the time to reflect on the choices you've made and be happy.....truly happy.