I've spent a long day thinking about where I came from and where I am. My ADHD thought process made me then think of Paris Hilton, the Kardashians and countless other uber-successful by birth people.
Really, I came from nowhere. When I think back to my teen years, I thought we we did well. I thought we were better off than most. I thought we had all we wanted or needed. I mean, I saw people who didn't have what we had. They must have been "the poor people".
As an adult, I realize we didn't have squat. (In the voice of a 13-year-old girl), O-M-G, WE WERE SOOOO POOR. I Lived on Main Street here in the fine village of Podunk until I was almost 20. We had a pool, satellite, cable, video games, dirt bikes, 3-wheeler, (little supervision as I think back) and a purple scooter.
I never remember being hungry; although, I do remember gorging on payday when the groceries came in from the box store where Subway is now. I do remember eating the ass ends off of cold hot dogs and sticking the middle in the trash for fear that I'd be caught "wasting" food. AND I remember my brother living on Gerber baby cereal (the flake kind you mix with milk) for most of high school.
I don't recall eating out EVER, or a class t-shirt or lunch money. I do remember lots of Aigner clothing, the Village Boutique and prom dresses that were WAY OVERPRICED. I recall buying 76 cents of gas one time for the biggest piece of shit car IN THE WORLD. I thought that's what you did. You turn 16 and the stepmother gets a new car. Right of passage sort of thing.
When I became an adult, I judged a successful life on having a pool, having satellite TV, having cycles, cable, and "things". As the kids started high school, ALL kids had cell phones. Neither kid got a NEW car, but I was teaching them character (and after all, they had a damn cell phone for the triple AMY if they needed roadside assistance). They both had what they "NEEDED" in high school.
Both kids have had gas money, lunch money, insurance, cell phones, prom attire, money for any occasion needed, class rings, no jobs to interfere with sports and academics. "We've" footed the bill.
It is of my opinion that my job as a mother (unlike my own mother) is to send my kids out into the world with a solid education, manners, good credit and good teeth.
I am fully happy to continue to provide these privileges to both my kids as long as they continue their education (for as long as they choose to continue) and I see that they are helping me to help them. There are no free rides, my people. These grants are way more than I was EVER given. I'll have student loans until I die, and that's a payment I don't mind paying EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH. FOR-EV-ER.
I guess when I think abut the uber-privileged, I become sad. As I look at my life, I had nowhere to go but up (or two blocks west). If you start at the bottom, your goals don't have to be in the upper tiers of society. You can be in the middle class and still be "winner, winner, chicken dinner". As long as I feel like I am better off than when I started (still like the ass end of cold hot dogs), then there is no outside pressure to perform.
Were I have began my life as a celebrity child or professional athlete's kid, I would be expected to do grand things. As a coal miner's daughter, I'm only expected to exist and have utilities. I wonder what kind of a life my kids will look back on and feel like they have to maintain to be considered successful?
Paige continues in school (I secretly hope forever) and Kane is a typical undecided 18-year-old. I would be fine if either of my children were to join the Peace Corps and live in mud huts. I now see success as not "things", but more of options. Success is taking a day off "BECAUSE YOU CAN", traveling "BECAUSE YOU CAN', and just having the utilities auto drafted.
We are not "successful" people. We do not live on the upper rungs of society. We live, we work, we pay, we work some more. Bills come, they go back out. It's just life. You save and something needs tires. You save and the water heater goes out...or a transmission fails....or LIFE just slaps you in the face.
I guess the point to my slobber is I don't mind helping "YOU" if you are helping yourself. I don't mind giving a hand up, and I expect the same from my government, my neighbor and my kids. Schutt kids, you will have been successful if you have helped even ONE person along your way. I love you both, now get your asses out there and make something of yourselves.
(Who's the best mom in the whole wide world?)....all together, kids.
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