Mother's Day...(Meh)

Everywhere I look, I see posts and cards regarding Mother's Day and the celebrations that follow. If you know me, really know me, you know I've never had much of a female role model. As I've gotten older and had kids of my own, I've discovered I have much less hate for this lacking, but more of a negative score in the respect column for any woman who shares their vagina or nether-region and opts out of what follows. It's not that I feel pity for me but more that I can't seem to grasp how one walks away without at least wondering if said offspring is fed, watered, dressed, abused and a mile of other adjectives that concern any parent.

I've watched parents and family walk away from their injured and sick children while enduring Paige's hospital transfers, and I didn't get it then either. Though Kane has been gone on his senior trip for a week, not a moment has gone by that I haven't wondered if he had enough sense to feed and bathe himself (and hopefully, not gotten into the windowless van with the bum I'm sure they paid to buy alcohol). Note to bum, Florida is a death penalty state, and I'm not afraid to push the limits of the justified homicide concept, if necessary. (There is a place for vigilantism even in today's society).

I've spent a lifetime of hearing the perks of a good mother. Honestly, it sickens me to think that there are women of all ages that exist everywhere who somehow feel left out or less than because a woman chose to skirt her responsibilities.    If anything, it's made us stronger and more independent.

I used to be so jealous of the girls I knew whose mothers smothered them, who were BFFs, who didn't try to gouge each other's eyes out and that there was no mental debate over who the guy who came to your house was really there to see. As I've gotten older, I see that the greatest gift you can give, to a child that you don't intend to care for, is to walk away. 

My advice to you, if you are one of these lowlife skanks, (all disrespect intended), is to walk away. Don't send cards. Don't show up unannounced, uninvited or otherwise, and try to be the parent your child needed at 8 and 13 and 20. Walk away. Stay gone. Don't run into adults and tell them who you are and what your relationship to said child is. If that child's name comes into a conversation you are a part of, clam up. Don't dare attempt to take credit for any part of a life you didn't contribute positively to.

My advice to the motherless (sharing a vagina does not make you a mother) is this: Consider this the greatest gift you could have received. If it took her a little longer to let go, consider that a gift that took a little longer to get. If you have kids, know that even if you do your job poorly (but safely), that you win. Even if your kid doesn't have an iPod or the coolest prom dress or a class ring, you win. 

Suck the positives from every older woman you come in contact with. Know that all those even-barely-older-than-you women are teaching you amazing things that you will not recognize until you, too, are older and the glass is a little cleaner.


For this Mother's Day, I can't help but think of some of these women...Coren Miller, Sheila Furlow, Juanita Martin, Judy Martin, Kitty Williams. You were all women who helped create the thought process that I carry with me today...and I thank you....HMD.